YOU END UP LIKING THE PLACE

One way or the another, you end up liking the place.

No matter what we have gone through spiritually in life. No matter where we think life will take us. We end up being at the perfect place but we dont realise.
Here I have a story about a guy who did not know where he might end up. Little did he know it would be the place he needed the most at that point in life.

Meet ankush, a scholar student. Brilliant at mind but weak at heart. He had been a topper all his life, achieving every goal he set for himself, completing every work way before deadline, helping mom and dad with daily chores without fail everyday, an ideal son to his family.

The city life

He was an expertise in every area of life. Professionalism was in his soul. But his soul never tasted what he needed the most. You see, there is balance in nature. There is a balance in people's lives too. We dont realise it but it happens to us so causally we fail to notice it. Balance is everywhere.

He as a person had trained himself through his  mind. He supposed life only works on control. He believed, only when you have full control over every activity of yours, only when you would have completely figured out the pros and cons of a decision,only when you have weighed the positive and negative aspects of a situation, you may proceed and succeed. So calculated, people often told him-" you dont live your life Ankush,learn to live a bit. "

It is merely an illusion that you can control everything in life. But he didn't believe so.

Ankush lived in bangalore with his parents, and had two siblings. He had done his studies from a private school and then higher studies from the college of his dreams. He had only two friends, both of them knew Ankush wasn't the usual guy, but still were his friends. Always indulged in his work and studies, he never even thought about having a girlfriend or someone to share his day with. He lived in a city full of buildings and structures, monuments, parks and museums and the ultimate noise of city life and technology everywhere.

Now that he was done with his studies, he wanted to further carry on academically to enhance his degrees and upgrade his skills for a better job, a better future.
It was the month of june 2017, when he got his admission notice for joining immediately and enroll himself for his P. H. D. in his desired institution.

He was happy but not content. The lack of ability to be able to put his heart and soul into something was taking a toll on him. He had been a machine for a long time now. He had been self oriented perfectionist, who did know nothing what sharing felt like, what having a heart to heart conversation with your best friend feels like,what painting feels like, what having tea with your friends on a rainy day feels like, what laughing on family occasions with cousins feels like. His disbalance was now becoming more and more clear to him. But he also felt he could not do anything about it.

Little did he knew a completely different form of life was awaiting for him far away from his hometown, lurking in the outskirts of the city. That would change his life.

One the day of admission, he boarded a bus from the main bus terminal of the city to reach his new research institute located at the outskirts of city, at the border of Bangalore and Andhra Pradesh. A place so deserted , not many buses or trains communication could be found either online or offline. So he took the only reasonable route from the main city bus terminal. He packed heavily as he did not want to travel much for the next few months to get stuffs. He knew he would not have many options there. During the 5 hour journey, he read a novel for an hour or two, then had his lunch and went to sleep.
It was only when he woke up from his alarm half and hour prior to approximate reaching time, that he saw the visuals outside the bus window.

He saw nothing but green grass, trees, small houses, farmers doing their daily chores, women cooking in aluminum pots outside on hearth. The climate surrounding this small village was pleasant and the subtleness of the environment was beyond what you call beauty. He realised what he was about to experience now.

Contrast

Upon reaching, the first thing he did was settling himself with all his stuffs, bags and luggages, essentials in his dorm room. The room was unexpectedly quite large and the most beautiful part of his hostel was that it had a beautiful garden on a huge area just outside his corridor in the front. He could experience all that nature had to offer visually,as his dorm room was at the ground floor .

Upon completing the formalities of joining at his Institute, he came back to his room, which was merely 50 steps from his place of work. The entire campus area as you can guess was close to nature, filled with trees, grasses, ferns and mosses, flowers of a wide variety.

View

It was all beautiful in his mind but connecting with vibes and energies and nature was something Ankush always suffered from. He appreciated it all but soon got back to his room and started arranging his clothes onto the racks.

The first few days he stayed there was quite overwhelming for him,as he had to work with new staffs , new people, new colleagues, new teachers . He hadn't been good at establishing new contacts or initiating a conversation. Interacting with new people had been his weak area of expertise.
He didn't miss home but he missed having a known surrounding.

One evening, after returning from his work, he made tea for himself, and tried to enjoy the natural environment he was gifted with. He was determined he would do it the right way, so that he starts to like that place and make it his own. His own comfort area. His own place.

He made his tea, he could sense what he made just now was not even near as perfect to the tea his mother used to make him. His dad too used to make wonderful warm tea. He was the eldest among his siblings, and so it was expected of him to make good tea after learning from his parents. But he never could. He tried to learn while watching from behind when his mother used to make evening tea for everyone. But that effort lasted only a day or two when he used to be at home. He , neither his parents worried about him not being able to make a simple cup of strong warm tea. Afterall it wasn't a big deal.

But to him that evening, while pouring it through the sieve onto his cup, he could see it wasn't what he expected but since he made it now, he took the cup and went outside to the corridor. Pulled out a chair from his room placed it near his door outside and sat. As he took a sip of his tea, he realised tea making isn't his cup of tea.

He followed all the rules to like that place. But to like a place you need to open up to its surroundings, indulge in its beauty, appreciate the enhancement in the air quality he was breathing now or rather feel the breeze of wind sweep across his face now and then. He failed that day, because he couldn't do any of it. And thought maybe he can never come to like the new ambiance he was in.

Slowly and gradually, other colleagues came in, joined and started their stay in the other nearby dorm rooms now. When the Institute was done taking admissions from everywhere, Ankush soon realised there were not many who had taken admission. The entire group of highly qualified professionals in his department counted to only seven people. Seven is less. Its not graduation he said to himself. "This is normal. What was I even expecting otherwise? "

It was almost a month now since Ankush had started living there. And he still could not make even a single friend till now. He started feeling lonely. And he also realised that his anxiety of talking to people comes from the people itself. People around him had started judging him for no reason, labelled him as quite and studious, even rude. As self oriented as a person he was, he was straight forward too, and he couldn't help it. Because you see, he could not talk or listen to gossips. He would straight away give answers to people who had intentions of extending the topic unnecessarily to get things out of each other.

The one who doesn't gossip, isn't people favorite.

He knew this very well, and he also knew he could never waste his time gossiping. Getting hated by everyone was much easier.
He chose that. Always.

But it hurts doesn't it? It hurts. To always stand out of a group of people. People interacting in a group is always tempting when you look from a distance. Ankush was always that guy,who craved it looking from far, standing alone. Their laughs, their smiles, the hi fives, the shared lunches. Humans craves human interaction. And so did Ankush. It wasn't easy for him to bear with what he was. He could not make unnecessary relationships with people over materialistic things but he craved actual real relations. Relations which mean something to the soul. He only had two friends back at his home town. But he hadn't contacted them yet. Not since he joined here.


After duty that day, he returned his room and called up one of his friend. They did talk for a while but Ankush soon realised that his friend has not been his part of life anymore. He had not shared stuffs with him for a long time now, and he could make out from his friend's voice that he too was disappointed in Ankush for leaving the town without even letting him know.

It was useless. If he cannot share, one cannot comment or care. He hung up the call and was now frustrated with the lonely life he had created for himself. He now understood, that people talk. People talk no matter what you do. Even if you're gold hearted, humans find a way to criticize you. Ankush never harmed anyone. But his lack of ability to communicate now made him different from the others.

Talking isn't harmless, said Ankush to himself and now decided start or initiate to talk to people. He made himself learn to speak without overthinking about the consequences. What can be the worst that can happen? People will gossip? They do that anyway.

The following evening, Ankush made himself tea, took a chair outside and sat in the hope that he can take the initiative from now to not be scared of exaggerating consequences in his mind about what will people think of him. He did not want to rely on his self doubt anymore.

A junior student looking at Ankush passed through the  corridor, just then Ankush smiled at him, and asked him weather he had his lunch or not. They had a brief chit chat that evening which was followed by chatting with few others. He never knew the names of students who lived in his adjacent rooms. He  interacted and felt gladsome and gleeful.

He felt a lot open and relieved of a heaviness he didn't know he had been carrying throughout his life. He was shocked by the fact how easy it is to interact and communicate. And you don't necessarily need to gossip to experince the beautiful bond humans have. The bond of exchanging feelings and experiences of one's life with another which is also important for one's mental health. Social associations and relations enables human to express oneself completely with the use of multiple languages and words present in this world.
Ankush made his fair share of friends after that evening. He startes enjoying the environment he was blessed with.

Away from the city lights and the traffic noise, he spent his days in calmness of nature mother earth had preserved in the untouched parts of the state. He used to now go on walks everyday with his friends and admire the little joys of life without having any kind of burden in his mind or heart. He even made an effort to stay in touch with his old friends. He started living his life to the fullest. Indulging himself in whatever life has to offer and letting fate embrace him with its surprises. Its been almost an year now, he had to go to town for a project work and one fine evening, when he made his usual evening tea, he sat down near the window of his room and looked outside, he realised he missed the view from the window of  his dorm room. He wished to finish this project and rush to his own place soon.